On gratitude
I’m sure you know the feeling when your nose is blocked, and all you can think of is wishing to be able to breathe normally again. But do you ever think to appreciate breathing freely while you’re well?
Gratitude, appreciation, or thankfulness - whatever you call it - is a very powerful practice and a great habit to cultivate. Even though the scientific exploration of this topic is only starting to sprout, the available research already points to a clear connection between being grateful and happy. Out of the main positive findings, let me call out just a few:
Gratefulness is being linked to overall wellbeing. Not only in terms of subjective enjoyment of life, more than that - gratitude has also been associated with decreasing the risk of various psychological diagnoses, such as depression, generalized anxiety disorder, phobia, dependence on nicotine, alcohol or drugs, and the risk of bulimia.
Gratitude has been associated with positive emotions such as contentment, happiness, pride, and hope. Who wouldn’t want more of that in life, right?
On a more physiological level, research connects gratitude with lowering aggression, increasing overall energy levels, increasing the likelihood of physical activity (which is a good start for improving your overall physical health), and improving sleep.
While the positive impact is significant, making a positive shift is not that difficult. All that you might need to do is to redirect your attention. To prove my point, let’s do a short exercise together: look around and take a minute to find and count as many red objects as you can. Give it a minute or two, and do not continue reading before you are finished. Ready? Now, try telling me (without looking again) how many blue objects you have noticed. If you have no idea, don’t worry - it is only natural not to see things you don’t direct your attention to. And it does not matter if it’s about a particular color or something to be grateful for - your brain works the same.
Now, to bring it a step further: there are two sides to this realization. Just like it can help you to “multiply” what you want in your life, it can as well help you minimize what you don’t want in your life. What you focus on, you see more of. If there’s something you want less of, just stop granting it your attention, your time, your energy. All of these resources are limited, and you know better than to waste them on sh… things you don’t want. Right? I’m sure we can agree that counting your blessings and focusing on things you can be grateful for adds more peace to your life than obsessing over things that bring you down.
Here are a couple of tips and exercises that can help you get your mind on the right track:
Start a gratitude journal. Every day, make an effort (and invest a few minutes of your time) to write down three things you are grateful for. It does not matter how big or small. You can surely find at least three at the end of every day. A modification of this one would be to have a gratitude jar: in this case, you write your thoughts on small pieces of paper that you fold and put in a jar. Anytime, when you feel down, you randomly pick a few and reread them as a reminder that even on a shitty day, there are plenty of things to be grateful for.
Make a list of things you appreciate about yourself. It can include your personality traits, your skills, achievements, strengths, actions - anything directly related to you.
Write a thank you letter. Think of a person that has made a positive impact on your life. It can be someone from your family, a friend, a mentor, or even a public figure that does not have to be part of your immediate circle. It does not matter if they are from your present or your past. Think of all the positive impact they made on your life and put it into a heartfelt note.
Think of all the things you take for granted - and imagine losing them. It can be anything you don’t think about because it is simply there, whether it is about having a place to live, having a job that pays your bills, friends, and family you can count on, the ability to walk or to see. For a moment, think about how your life would be without them. And then focus on how frickin’ fantastic it is that it’s not the case.
And if you think that none of these work for you in any way - just try to think about being happy while you are happy for a change. Maybe let’s start there.
“Gratitude is the wine for the soul. Go on. Get drunk.”
