Anti-social media
Disclaimer 1: this article is indeed inspired by The Social Dilemma. However, the path to watching the documentary was paved not by a recommendation, but rather by a lot of anxiety, introspection, trial and error, and lying awake in my bed in the cold blue light of my phone display. I do not claim to have it all figured out. I would love to discuss how to go about it, though! So if you have any thoughts on that, please share them in the comment section or hit me up via email (which you can find in 'contact me') or, conveniently, on my socials. I'm looking forward to the exchange!
Disclaimer 2: you're in for a long one, yet I hope you stay.
“‘Offline’ is the new ‘luxury’. ”
A notification pops up and tells me that, on average, I've spent 2 hours and some minutes per day looking at my phone screen last week. Good news: it could have been worse, right? Bad news: I realize I actually have two phones and a laptop screen in front of my eyes for most of the day.
***
I scroll through Instagram to the point where I literally think its a waste of time, and I've seen all of it for a trillion times (in some shape or form) and finally close the app. Intending to put the phone down afterwards, I quickly check my email, Facebook, and even Pinterest (like the OG I am), just to reopen Instagram minutes later and feel shit about how compulsive this habit it is.
***
At one moment in time, I start to realize that 20% (if I'm genuinely optimistic) of my online attention is hijacked by advertisement. I try to rebel against it and report ads that annoy me, just to realize that all I have achieved is giving them free tips on how to target my attention better.
Fast forward.
I head out for a hike and switch my data off. Sure, I know I'll pull my phone out and take pictures all the time, but most of all, I want to take it all in. During a break, my friend pulls out his phone. Within seconds, we both learn about a court decision taken in the proceedings of a journalist murdered in our home country early last year (screw you, justice, you should be blind, not dumb). Never have I ever felt a bigger longing for remaining offline and not losing hope for as long as I could.
***
I ask a friend about a new phone I'm considering and about potential upsides and downsides. He tells me that it does not have a notification light, but it has an always-on display. I'm not sure we are on the same page about which is an upside and which not.
***
I run out of roaming data (which is kind of a big deal when living abroad), and when sitting down for dinner, a friend of mine offers to create a hotspot for me. I hesitate for a second, but I decline.
It almost sounds like progress, right? How sad, isn't it? To sort of celebrate being able to decline internet connection while having dinner with a friend. Don't get me wrong; from my perspective, there is no argument about whether the internet and the accessibility of information brings a benefit or not. It absolutely does. But is it still just a tool we can use, or isn't it?…
I have to admit – most of all, to myself – my own online/phone/social media habits are not the healthiest. I believe this has escalated big time since I have moved abroad, and the whole corona situation has magnified it to scary heights. Being online and on my phone has connected me to my friends back home and gave me a sense of being social and having company. That was in dramatic contrast to how lonely and isolating my bedroom's four walls felt, and at that time, it was close to life-saving. Yes, I was lucky enough to live nearby nature and be able to go for walks, but doing that on your own all the time still gets to you after a while. And then.. the main lockdown has passed, things started to get back to normal somehow, but the habits have stayed.
For the longest time, I kept observing them. Sometimes fighting them, sometimes giving in, and above all else, trying to understand what drives them. Obviously, since moving to Germany, my phone has become the sole plug-in and connector to the whole world I have left behind. It keeps me in touch with the people I care about, allows me to hear them, and even see them. It also tends to distract my mind when aren't in touch, so I don't focus on the lonely when I feel homesick from time to time.
Observing all of this, I have decided to do a tiny social experiment.
You can obviously argue about whether self-observation and introspective applied to a test group of one are valid scientific methods, but for the sole purpose of making my own life happier and healthier, I deem them sufficient and would like to present my findings as follows:
I feel much happier spending my life offline rather than online. Offline is much easier to do when I get to do something I am passionate about or spend time in good company, rather than when I am spending time on my own. This leads me to two simple recommendations, which I believe can't hurt anyone: figure out what you are passionate about and follow it and choose your company wisely. It does not really matter if you spend too much time on your phone or not.
I feel mentally energized when I disconnect. It almost feels as if I wake up. I started to make it a habit to create time and space for conscious offline time. Right now, this is somewhat random. I have stepped away from forcing myself into any sort of artificial schedule or timeline, as that didn't really suit me or help me in any way. On the other hand, a spontaneous offline evening or day when I feel I need one seems to be much more (positively) impactful than scheduling one in advance. It allows me to tune in much better and with more ease.
My brain seems to work better, and my mind feels sharper when I disconnect from social media. I deliberately use the word feel, as this is obviously completely subjective, and I would not know how to measure this in any way. Nevertheless, It feels as if I finally got the lens I look at my life through back in focus. I manage to get more done ("done" in terms of things I am passionate about). I seem to solve problems faster, feel less pressured and stressed, and feel recentered and back in balance. For me, social media, online content, and presence take my mind away from the present moment and take my attention to memories of the past or the future's wishes and worries. It only very rarely grounds me in the present moment. But grounding and mindfulness is a whole beautiful topic for itself, and more on that maybe later.
The less time I spend on my phone (and with any sorts of electronics in my hand, on my lap, or just in front of my face), the better I sleep. Sure, in case I am traveling, doing sports, or I'm simply out and about, it is, of course, easier to get physically tired by the end of the day and sleep better. I do intend to educate myself more on the impact of EMF and blue light on sleep quality and health. Still, I believe there has been enough proper research done on the topic to make it worth mentioning, even if my own findings come from completely subjective and fairly unscientific methods and observations.
I don't even want to dive into the topics of advertisement, monetization, addiction, depression, or the spread of fake news. The one thing it comes down to for me is: when it comes to spending my time, do I still feel that I am really in charge, or do I feel driven by something that is beyond my consciousness and my own choice? And most importantly – does it make me a better human and happier?
They say we "vote with our wallets", and I absolutely agree with that. But more than ever, we also vote with our attention. I believe that time is one of the most scarce resources I get to have, manage, and invest, and I think I should do it wisely. And to paraphrase the quote from "On travel": why the hell would I keep scrolling when I can be running like I'm on fire towards my wildest dreams?
Or towards sunrises, reading books, sleeping early, or sleeping in.
And what would you do with all the free time you could have?
